Day Seventeen

DAY 17: Dr Elise Bialylew interviews Dr Laura Markham

Video Objectives

You’ll learn:

  • Strategies for managing challenging moments with kids
  • A new science backed way to "discipline" without using punishment
  • What to do when you've screamed at your child to repair and ensure a strong connection
  • Some powerful rituals you can bring to your family to support  greater flourishing
About Laura Markham

Prefer to listen, rather than watch? Click the play button below.

[accessally_missing_any_tag tag_id='895' comment='MLP22']Want to read the transcript from this interview? Mind Life Project members receive access to interview transcripts and 6 months of mindfulness support, live meditations, and more👇[/accessally_missing_any_tag][accessally_has_any_tag tag_id='895' comment='MLP22']Mind Life Project Bonus Content:

Click here to download the transcript of Dr Elise Bialylew's interview with Dr Laura Markham.[/accessally_has_any_tag]

Your meditations for today

Releasing shame by Lisa Abramson

Called an inspiration by Oprah, Lisa Abramson is an executive coach, mindfulness teacher, author and mom of two girls. She teaches overachievers how to develop a resilient mindset and create success that’s sustainable. She’s helped more than 15,000 people increase their mental resilience through her online programs and has shared her insights at TEDx, Google, Microsoft, Cisco, The Stanford Graduate School of Business and in Forbes, NPR, The New York Times, Health, Fast Company, and more. Lisa has delivered over 8 million minutes of calm around the globe through her guided mindfulness meditations.

BONUS meditation:

Relax Your Mind With The Breath By Elise Bialylew

[accessally_missing_any_tag tag_id='895' comment='MLP22'][/accessally_missing_any_tag]


Whether in you relationships with your kids, partner or family and friends more broadly. The mindful emotional first aid is such a valuable practice.

Having the skills to manage our own emotions is a key ingredient in allowing us to meet another person with less emotional reactivity and greater wisdom. 

In daily life, when you’re emotionally triggered and your prefrontal cortex is hijacked by your amygdala, whether you’re feeling anger, fear, or agitation, you need a simple reminder to help you work with the emotion mindfully. 

Today, we explore the mindful ABC of Emotional First Aid that I created, inspired by my medical training and the ABCs of physical resuscitation.

A: Acknowledge.

Acknowledge that the emotion is present.

When we get emotionally triggered, we can get completely consumed by the emotion. By labelling or naming the emotion we can more clearly acknowledge that it is present. This acknowledgement is the first step in having more freedom to respond wisely in the face of an emotional response.

B: Be open and breathe.

We are wired to pull away from emotions such as anger, sadness or fear; they don’t feel good in our bodies. This second step asks you to be open and stay with whatever emotion has been activated, remembering that difficult emotions are a normal part of being human.

By being open to whatever emotion is present, we actually allow them to flow through us, rather than get stuck as we expend more energy trying to push them away.

Use the breath as a way to anchor yourself in the midst of an overwhelming emotion, and use the outbreath to release any tension in the body associated with the emotion. With each outbreath you can silently say to yourself, "I send compassion to this particular emotion.” This phrase can interrupt the reactivity and help you soothe yourself.

C: Curiously explore.

Ask yourself, where do I feel this emotion in my body? What sensations are associated with this emotion? What am I believing? Be curious about the quality of the emotion. Do you notice it changes as you pay attention?

The key to this step is to bring a quality of kindness and gentleness to the investigation, as if you were a parent gently exploring what has upset your child.

D: Don’t be hard on yourself and de-identify with the emotion.

This step asks you to use difficult emotions as an opportunity to develop your self-compassion. Remind yourself that, just like every other human on the planet, you are not perfect, and will inevitably be thrown off-centre and react in ways you feel ashamed about.

It is also an opportunity to remember the universal truth of impermanence: the fact that everything is transient and that emotions are no exception. You can experiment by silently noting to yourself, “I am noticing the feeling of [name the emotion] …”, or simply, “Here is anger,” rather than thinking, "I’m angry." This subtle shift in perspective through labelling reminds us of the impermanent nature of emotions.

I’ve even found it extremely useful to use the ABC steps as prompts for journaling about difficult emotions. Often, when we get emotionally triggered, we perceive one dominant emotion (such as anger), but by pausing and curiously exploring that emotion, we discover that other emotions may be hidden beneath.

Try this practice out the next time you are emotionally triggered and let us know how you find it in the Facebook group.

stay on track

mark off your daily progress here


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